It hurts us when we hurt others. When we hurt others we hurt ourselves. Those who hurt others are in pain and harm themselves by harming others. This is why we comfort and console both parties and initiate peer mediation that invites each to tell the other what happened from their perspective. It recognizes and honors the pain of both and allows each by turn to feel their own and the other’s underlying causes of that pain. Speaking and listening to one another with an open honesty – and an impartial heart and mind – is what initiates the healing process. No preaching or moralizing, no requiring of saying sorry, no exacting of promises never to do it again – simply opening the exploration of feelings, airing the pain on both sides, and going forward in comfort to begin the healing process.

“Ostracizing Others Hurts As Much As Being Excluded Ourselves, Study Finds”

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